Be Confident, No One Cares

If you were a stranger and you were meeting yourself, what do you think you would think of yourself ?

Okay. Um. I guess I always feel like I don’t leave an impression on people. So I think maybe I would also think about that. I wouldn’t really think much.

That’s interesting because.. I went up to people who didn’t look busy, typically, but for you, I wanted someone who looked like… it’s the hair mostly. So you did kind of stand out and make an impression on me. So it’s ironic that you feel that way.

Yeah, I think now because of my hair, I do now, but before, when it was a natural color, I feel like I didn’t leave an impression.

Was there a reason behind dying it, or was it just a “this will be fun” kind of thing?

Uh, no, yeah, it was originally all pink, and so I always wanted pink hair and then I was like, “why not do it now?”

Do you feel like your personality matches the pink hair?

No.

It does seem like a little bit of a…

Yeah. Yeah, I’ve always… recently I’ve been a little bit more, but I’ve always been really reserved.

Yeah. I get that. Are you at peace with that quality of yourself or… A lot of people, myself included, grow up a little bit more reserved and that’s seen as a negative thing. Do you feel that way, or are you okay with your reservedness?

I think, growing up, I did feel negative about it, because I felt like it was harder for me to make friends. But now I’m okay with it. I don’t need that many friends. Honestly, I don’t really like to talk to that many people, so I’m happy with having a small group of close friends.

Ironically, I know I came up to you to talk to you, but I don’t.. This is me going out of my comfort zone.

Oh, really.

Yeah, the point of this was to push myself. This is really hard. But yeah, I get it. I got told a lot growing up to speak up. I was a quiet person, literally. Did you have the same thing or was it more of you didn’t talk very much and that was your reservedness?

No, it was mostly I didn’t talk very much. At all. Recently, it’s gone better, but growing up, especially in school, I was very reserved.

That’s fair. Do you think if you could do it over again, you would change your reservedness, or do you think that wouldn’t be possible?

I think I would. I don’t think I would change it so I would be super extroverted. Just a little bit more so that I could feel more confident in myself.

I feel like because I was so shy, I was really insecure about so many things. I think that if I was more open or more extroverted, I would have had a better time.

Do you think dyeing your hair helped with that?

Um.. Uh, kind of, I guess..

What do you think it was that made that change of how you feel? What was the, like, defining point, you think?

I don’t know. I feel like it’s just school, and I have to do work and an internship, so I’m kind of forced to talk to people. I feel like that’s really pushed me to be a little bit more open.

We were talking a lot about how you’re different from when you were younger. So this one’s a good one. What would you say if your 10 year old self was in front of you right now?

I would say just have more confidence in yourself. Stop being so overly aware of what people think about you, it’s never that serious. You’re not that important where people are constantly thinking about you, so be more confident in yourself.

Do you think you would have listened to your advice?

No. Haha.

Yeah… I will say, I don’t know if this helps- outside validation is always so weird, but, I did come up to you, ‘cause you stood out and you were pretty. Your aesthetic is a lot different from other people I’ve gone up to. So I was trying to get different perspectives.

Thank you.. Thank you, yeah.

Ironically, I came up to you because I was like, maybe you’re really extroverted. And, I mean, it ended up being the opposite. But that’s the cool thing about this is you learn different things.